Durham Cathedral 5am






Another year is almost over since Christina passed away.

When I was a boy, I used to lie in bed and listen to the river, which ran just outside my window. The bells of the unseen cathedral would chime the hour, followed by the sound of a steam train, pulling away from the railway station at the edge of the city.

Always on time.

“I often cry when I hear a train pass by. I don’t know why”

I do now.

The river still flows past the house that is no longer there – and the wallpaper and the sound of Christina, making her hot milk for bed.

I recently visited my hometown of Durham and wanted to stay near to the river where I spent my childhood. As luck would have it, the University were renting out rooms to the general public during vacations…

…I arrived after midnight and settled into a small student ‘cell’ of a room.

Unseen from the demolished house, beyond the river and from above, the Cathedral clock chimed 5am and I woke to my first view of what had always been there, but which had been hidden by the University buildings as they towered over our home.

Is she always there – just hidden from my view?

~I reached into the glove compartment of my car and found her phone. I must have put it there, but I don’t recall doing so. The night after she died, there was a call from that phone, but no-one was there. Then for five years it vanished.

Until now.




~ by soulmerlin on May 26, 2010.

7 Responses to “Durham Cathedral 5am”

  1. No matter how hard we try to resist it, the world changes before our eyes. And so do we….

  2. Henry-This was so moving, it brought tears to my eyes. Drew up reminiscences of my own childhood home, the people who are gone but the house that’s still there. We have no choice what stays or goes, not even regards our own lives.

  3. I am not very good at numerology but it looks as though the 5’s will be significant for you this year. I am never surprised by strange coincidences but always fascinated…I recall reading about your phone call way back in an earlier post.
    A beautifully written post Henry and food for thought……..

  4. Oh Henry, I DO believe she may go unseen, but is always there. Then, when you may doubt or need her the most, you get that little nudge. That little pinch on the cheek. That “perfect timing”, that confirms, she’s with you. I remember your experience with the cell phone. I have just as many chills now, when you said you found it as I did when it rang with no earthly reasoning so long ago.
    So glad you shared this with us.

  5. haunting and you create beautiful visuals … thanks so much

  6. What sadly beautiful readings. I am so glad to have found time to linger again. I will be back more often.

  7. A loved one is forever present. Connections through the heart are timeless. The focus of your attention determines what you feel and choose to see. Recall Rumi who says, “Close both eyes and see through the other eye.”

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